Dead Endings

Walls of paper, bed of stone Flesh falls away from bone Putrefaction fills my plate Bleak foreshadow of my fate In winter’s choking grasp I finally breathe my last I’m not the first to fall In this city without walls Streets lined with mausoleums Monuments to our decay Stained glass, cold ash: burnt offerings On bloodied knees we pray In winter’s choking grasp I finally breathe my last I’m not the first to fall In this city without walls In winter’s choking grasp I finally breathe my last I’m not the last to fall In this city without walls

The change is on… In the silver light - I lost you far too soon Never saw this coming - Sure as the rising of the moon The change was on Something hardened in your eyes Love was gone What was truth became disguise In the silver light - I lost you far too soon The years behind us - Feel so distant now Let me hold this moment - To make this right somehow The change is on And it’s pulling us apart The truth of what you are Is tearing out my heart Heart bleeding - Lungs screaming Claws ripping - Mouth dripping In the silver light - I lost you far too soon The change was on - Sure as the rising of the moon

Do you still know that certain smell? Does it creep into your nostrils And wrack your mind with memories And wrack your guts with guilt and shame? Did you think time would never tell? How deep did you bury this? Sins of the father can’t come clean I bear this cross now in your name Don’t think to look for Grace in a shattered heart But see what beauty grows In the garden of your lies Your arms like chains… Anchor’s embrace… You drag me down… And in your new god I hope you’ve found forgiveness For look what beauty grows In the garden of your lies The family we’ve lived without… The selfishness of love… In the sublime light Of man’s evil inheritance I’ve seen what beauty grows In the garden of our lies

Your search for signs - Finds only lies No second coming here - No glorious rebirth A winter wind - Like fate’s hand beckoning Carries the final truth - This world cares not for you And in the final darkness You seek your great reward Have all your good works bought you Anything at all? Gods make no home on Earth Your temple so inviting Calls only to men And still you pay the tithe And when the hammer falls And drives the final nail in Has your devotion bought you Anything at all? Gods make no home on Earth Your temple so inviting Calls only to men And still you pay the tithe And when the hammer falls And drives the final nail Has your devotion Bought you anything at all? Wages of sin - Will cost you everything Chained to a false belief - A martyr to yourself Your legacy - A chilling breeze Blowing scattered leaves - Of a wasted life

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There is no up or down - Fear amorphous flows like blood Don’t sleep, danger lurks here - Pain is your destination Forgotten sunrise - Lost horizon Violated, mental raping- What dreadful music, haunts your dreams Fly before the Night - Comes to Decide - What fate awaits you In the living shadows Of this cursed place Locked doors, a maze of dead ends - Dead ending, a date and time Scattered thoughts like ancient treasure - Lost to darkness, just like you This is no place to rest - Flesh is weak and will be tempted Grim acceptance, waking horror - What blissful madness takes you over Fly before the Night - Comes to Decide - What fate awaits you In the living shadows Of this cursed place Left alone - But not alone Here to die One last hope - beyond hope Death to try Cast my prayers with my love up to God One last hope - beyond hope - Suicide Do I live? Would I know? Where’s the road to take me home? There is no up or down - Darkness is the only master Don’t sleep - danger lurks here - What dreadful music haunts your dreams?

When walls start closing in again - All you can hear are the echoes A war that rages in your head - I hope you’re drowning in it And there’s no good to come from this All sound and fury and useless No enemy takes the field Whose is the blood that’s spilled? And you’re feeding the beast Self-flagellation - no release There is no path to peace When you’re feeding the beast Am I my brother’s keeper? Who sows shall be the reaper Scrubbing hands in the acid bath Shedding skin - shedding past And I’m feeding the beast A sacrifice for my release My only path to peace So I’m feeding the beast And the walls are closing in - And the echoes come again Circling vultures wheel and spin - I’m fucking drowning in it… Out from the shadows that shaped me - Strong enough to make you hate me Unburdened now by cross or crown - I watch the ancients overthrown And there’s no good to come from this All sound and fury and useless Am I my brother’s keeper? Who sows shall be the reaper I hope you’re drowning in it…

Look there Just over the city, do you see them? Like angels on fire, they’re coming To take you home. Don’t be afraid That’s just thunder, shaking the walls Bringing the house down around you Pounding our world to dust. And then you’re gone but you’re here And I’m still holding what was once you While what was my heart Bleeds out through my eyes, to never return This ground is not made sacred by your blood And this land will never be holy again Each night I pray for the angels to wrap me In their burning arms and take me to you Have I sinned too much To meet you in Heaven? Am I too impure to feed the fires Of the Holy War that’s left me so Profane and alone? How can I believe in a god that allows this? Profane and alone… I cannot believe… This ground is not made sacred by our blood And this land will never be holy again Can’t see the horizon for the glare The smell of death, the taste of sickness in the air Push button… push button… Warfare