Little Treasure

I choke in the fog and suffocate crushed under the weight Wrestle with counterpoints who sing of an arcadian fate Struggle to manifest any semblance of who I was Kneecapped and hamstrung and reaching elsewhere for a familiar buzz How do I move when I’m blind Blunted and crushed and confined There’s a sliver of hope in my mind That’ll carry me swinging through this fight Release me To be free I’m reaching To breathe Pack up my life, sell it all off, and reduce all these years to a box The things that float us through are worth way more than the things we’ve got Ditch the lights, the sounds, the endless parade of souls Find a little patch of something where me and my love can grow and die so old I’m ready to burn it all down Sick of the moving around There ain’t no ghosts in a ghost town Just a couple lost hearts waiting to be found She sees me Right through me She’ll release me To breathe

At the foot of the hill where we first met I buried the heart of what might have been Broken promises shriveled into regrets A bitter conviction carved in my skin The only thing keeping my feet on the ground Is the leaden memory holding me down Ludmila tolls her mournful sound For a while, babe, at least we had each other I’m leaving you behind while I’m falling straight ahead I’m left here to unwind but you won’t beat me in the end In another life, maybe things could be different Our spires climb and glitter like a flame Maybe I could have been a bit less resistant Instead I dread the taste of your name Settle for something when it’s all that you find A sliver of sunlight, a moment in time The rain-slicked cobblestones pave our decline We never had a fair chance anyway I’m leaving you behind while I’m falling straight ahead I’m left here to unwind but you won’t beat me in the end I spin myself in circles looking for a reason It’s lonely in the darkness of the night Your rattle rasping words of treason I’m dreaming so much brighter than your lights I barely even tried to make this whole thing worth it Distracting myself to kill the time Fumbling for a sense of how this was worth it But I never wanted to make you mine I’m leaving you behind while I’m falling straight ahead I’m left here to unwind but you won’t beat me in the end

Would you paint me a scene Or would you write me a book Clinging to the myths that sprawled across the roads we took If you’re carving a dream Or digging down in the dirt The mortal sum of all of us is more than just our hurt It’s written in blood across our faces Our ever-after dreams Fade to a muddled grey, slipping by in the haze Splintered at the seams, torn and rotted away Crumbling into the ashes of our days Broken in my beliefs Bandaged up but still burned Thinking back to empty words at every single turn Looking back at the chest Where I’ve locked up my hope My weakened hands can’t find a way to wrestle with this rope We choke on those who came before us Our ever-after dreams Fade to a muddled grey, slipping by in the haze Splintered at the seams, torn and rotted away Crumbling into the ashes of our days We’re charging towards the end, but I don’t want to know what’s coming We’re charging towards the end, but I don’t want to wind up dead anymore I’m holding on I’m still holding on But all that’s left are hollow traces We’re holding on We’re still holding on We hung our hopes in the shallow places Our ever-after dreams Fade to a muddled grey, slipping by in the haze Splintered at the seams, torn and rotted away Crumbling into the ashes of our days

Dug at your casket ‘cause you couldn’t breathe The grass overgrown and covered in leaves Your sentinel watchful, mossy and cold Promises made and then left to unfold The waves collapsed into the shore The currents yearning to find you there I leaned into the creaking oars Once more crowing for repair I wanted to speak, my voice caught in my chest Just like the day you were laid here to rest What was it you told me that day at the lake? Something ‘bout leaving more than I take I fought and I failed against the tide The frigid water more than I could bear I turned to face the wind and cried But your name was lost into the air Will you find me in the gloaming? I said a prayer maybe once or twice Will you be behind me watching Lead me out of this alright Burn a candle through the night

In my throat there died a quivering howl My hands cradling our unseen days Your razorblade attitude and ember-eye scowl Burning through the shroud of your nicotine haze Across a million different lifetimes I’d make the same mistakes That led me stumbling into your arms I’ll walk beside you through the dark Our steps in time Your hand in mine I’m here to catch you when you fall Our steps entwined Your hands in mine You were so quick to dive in As you showed me the curve of your scars My fingers traced the etchings mapped across your skin But I’m still learning to navigate the map of who you are I don’t deserve to be the man that you turn to But every day you know I’m trying to be When there’s nothing left for you to hold onto I’ll make sure that you can hold onto me I’ll walk beside you through the dark Our steps in time Your hand in mine I’m here to catch you when you fall Our steps entwined Your hands in mine One day at a time We’ll weather what this year throws at us Before it has the chance to smother us in our sleep We’re shipping off this island Gonna find another story to tell I’d sail us off the edge of the world If it got us through the raging storm and towering swells I’ll walk beside you through the dark Our steps in time Your hand in mine I’m here to catch you when you fall Our steps entwined Your hands in mine One day at a time One day at a time We’ll wash up on that distant shoreline One day at a time