The Back of Beyond

billowing smoke in the mouth of the canyon filled with cries the promises of whispers reverberating recollections rise words fashioned arrowhead begin to take flight the hiss of the quarrels arching above the lip pointed threats tearing past seeking to breach the skin snuff out my fire stamp the embers ‘til they’re ash drape myself in dusty wool flee on horseback a formless mass every word I’ve ever said comes back to me an arrowhead rapid-fire the arrows speak ruptured skies blazing memories every vacillating pledge maybe next time every reply slung with rage I tried I apologize scurrying and slinking ephemeral escape I set up camp in plain sight to accept this fitting fate let each arrow hit its mark take on the hurt to heal I need to reckon with the way I’ve made others feel every word I’ve ever said comes back to me an arrowhead

in an abandoned filling station gathers a lawless congregation pray ‘til midnight gamble and fight ‘til dawn sinners with missing fingers feeling after God eaves crawling with paper wasps the steady din of cicadas serpents raised from a box squirming faith held aloft strychnine sloshed across new tongues a babel of ripping cloth there’s no real risk for them that believe praying hands clasped in atrophy slain in the spirit the ecstasy of near-death treading barefoot on a viper’s back a slithering crown upon the figurehead back at the preacher’s smokehouse rattlesnakes coiled in lard cans jaws coursing with venom for these he has a greater plan rattle the snakes with a pipe force the hand of his wife for the love of his mistress he’d stage this divine accident the poison slowly claims his wife’s flesh we’ve all handled some kind of snake be careful who you take one from the bite of man is worse you never know what someone is capable of

quick on the draw never minding the weight taking aim at anyone threatening my way so much blood on my hands I don’t know who it’s from I speak through my barrel sure as a gun sure as a gun the muzzle blast the brilliant flash the impulse and the recoil with blood-soaked boots I leave my tracks pressed deep in the sodden soil unload six shots in the viscous night sky shooting for a few more glimmers of light the glint of crimson drips and viscera I saunter in the swelter sure as a gun sure as a gun hear the slightest snap slam the hammer back open fire before I get cut down blue lightnin’ strikes ‘til the bronze of the dawn reveals silhouettes of death all around vultures perched with outstretched wings on mounds of bone that they’ve stripped clean as the day continues to break the barbarity of all I’ve laid waste lays at my feet trickling along narrow passages the back of beyond sure as a gun I start to feel the heft of my revolver the unabating ache in my trigger finger all the bullets that replaced my tongue manifested my desolation that’s all I’m sure of sure as a gun

fugitive farm hands armed with captive bolt pistols electric cattle prods prowling in the pale gutting stables and lofts our tools, crops, livestock gone leaving us bludgeoned and stunned sowing seeds of misery in time we’ll arise with sickles and scythes a blood-red vengeance surging they will suffer it won’t be quick bleeding out in a drainage ditch

days spent flayed and splayed ankles and wrists roped to horses pulling in opposing directions in the umbra of my ailing dreams aimless wraiths on boundless plains drifting like tumbleweeds toward the sinking sun thunderheads towerin’ over the shrouded west one last strand of twilight before the dusk descends countless hours spent scratching around for bits with a brighter shine entombed in arid ground these plains are one big cemetery a bone orchard without crosses endlessly expanding toward the sinking sun thunderheads towerin’ over the shrouded west one last strand of twilight before the dusk descends badlands ahead every way through meets the same end a cacophony crows cawing coyotes yip-howling across an unknown distance a cortège of dimming visions soon all will dissolve into the sunless horizon trailing those apparitions the brisk winds whistlin’ through a cracked longhorn skull last few teeth chatterin’ barrelin’ toward the west where fool’s gold glistens over peaks and through deepening ravines darkness will spread like crude oil until my breath’s wrested from me the full moon’s blaze providing lucid sight observing every burnished bit that will endure long after I die

I’ve got a mean streak in me smeared scabrous head to toe shallow enough to be rough to the touch even from a distance it’s starting to show please know that I’ve tried to spare you this plight fatal flaws — burrowed larval moths eating at me until they come to light a patience known to thin a temper prone to swing moths ravage my complexion consuming you as they’re leaving me shedding scales from vehement wings a tempest of dust that I’ve unleashed there’s no shelter here no air left to breathe a jittering eclipse a pale lunar limb an opaque haze is closing in an infestation of baseless anguish I’m not always a walking plague I often lack self-restraint babbling when it’s your turn to speak cackling as I vibrate and pace yowling ‘til I choke wound up with vertigo lined with vile cocoons throbbing as they grow you tell me you can’t recognize this hideous figure I assume when there’s nothing wrong between us the moths are loosed enshrouding you shedding scales from vehement wings a tempest of dust that I’ve unleashed there’s no shelter here no air left to breathe a jittering eclipse a pale lunar limb an opaque haze is closing in an infestation of baseless anguish suppressed expressed the moths consume there’s nothing left there’s nothing left

shallow pools of stagnant water slick wet fallen leaves tissue turned to pulp frigid earth shuddering trees black fissure branches in the fog spurs and stones cloaked in moss freezing rain turns to sleet as the temperature drops I can’t stop I need to reach that forsaken cabin my family left me it’s been years since these paths were cleared can’t see what’s right in front of me but I feel that it’s near its moldering facade porch boards caving in windows covered with bloodied butcher paper aging newsprint crossing the threshold into a backwoods slaughterhouse saws, cleavers, gambrels taxidermy mounts one window exposed a pane framed in rot crystalline reflections fractured in the frost outside a whiteout rids the land of contours and shadows the darkest features hold their form trapped in the cabin by drifting snow pull the antlers down from the mantel to dig through the drift a futile endeavor snow keeps on falling cold settling in close the door before it cannot be shut stuck halfway between illusions of safety the ability to stay the choice to leave I arrived with the intent to put the structure to flame strike a match against my palm set it in the fireplace sifting through cinders won’t get me through this bitter winter storm kneeling on the hearth ‘neath the patchwork roof in this crude refuge drawing warmth to a fever broken with steam gripping the iron hooks no longer suspending sprawling life behind and before me branches gleaming white paths of cracking ice shimmering glades vapor ascending the relics of my past restraints and blades rusting in a rotting shack into the shifting wilderness free from these crumbling confines I will persist