Sour Salvation; An Invitation to Blaspheme

Halnya Andri: In a state, of vindictive causality Raining alchemy, waves pour Eclipsing gravity, without a purpose All split from hierarchies, uncertain verses The nervous, still wordless; servant Of new affixations, craving desire From endless lists, and pages Who am I, to divide your time? Solidified, in ancient text: retracing lines Counting steps, each time I left The gaze of your eyes, carbonized I'm just steel in the wreckage, collected Thoughts in stagant efforts, cherished nor neglected Stolen from public life, excised messages All I have is, quasi-romances, cynicism and bold stances No answer, to questions of passion I'm just entranced with her fashion Butch swagger, stagger each acquaintance Swung hips, pinning lips to necks in laughter I'm just drown in hatred, epilsies in phrases Useless in my meditation, no mediation I can't face her, I'm too faceless Tinted windows, guarded all arrangements I'm too perplexed to say it, impatient Potent melodies of fixation, turn love to frustration Cold intimacy lingering in the rain, it's just A moment of growing displacement, and I'm Caught in the winds of beauty of a more powerful fragance Never could I, move with such solemnless grace Intoxicated feminine, unsettling deluded aura New performance, new divorces Left with now, forgotten images I reshaped myself in awful viscera Poignant death, in shameful truths This is no woman you're used to Scared the recognition, leads to calamity Built in image of love in a vaccum, tragedies Dancing in discordant times, how to move aside without falling? All of this, collateral damage: scattered glass Scrambling to preserve beauty as poles-shift Sifting through boundaries, without a purpose Standing atop puddles, coursing, too shaky for reflection Viying for position, twisting sisters into serphents Trying to put a name to a feeling, uneasy I get queasy, when solutions aren't solved by a wordsmith Cosmic binding, polluted by a first kiss Only as mystical, as I remember it Captured in comparsion, pleading for importance Dissecting the self, to find something to offer Coffer doors and rose gardens Pardoned, by my sorry appearance Mourning, the loss of need, never nurture them As roles, juxtapose as poems finding no worth in I just can't focus, the underlying curse is I'm not good enough alone, to love When the homes are lined with hearses She said: "Ain't worth love if it can't hurt ya'" Dangerous interia, mangled by the surface Tension in domestic service, sold myself Don't be good at something, you don't want to do Hide in the coccon, a terror to measuring spoons Die in your YouTube views, relics forgotten Plodding hands on a marble coffin I don't think about it often, often I don't think All your ambitions, just gone in a blink 20 year olds, living out my wildest dreams That's just a sacrifice, you breath in At 30, I'll be dead on my feet A decade, full of skeletons I can't face Stumbled out the closet, clavicle offended All this jaw is sharp for, is cutting myself down Rifles in the wedding gown, grenades in the garter If my body were the sea, please part her That bush doesn't stutter, firestarter Moses in a sundial, measuring time with pressed pills Hungry in the sight of strip steak It's all just music for my ribcage Who gives a fuck what the bitch at? I chew glass, before I ask for a gift plate I'm just a shift meal away from, a mass casuality incident Whatever you call it, the gaw of a coward It's a etching on stone at a dead prison Just be thankful for what you're given What beauty you can carve out, from humble beginnings Let the E flow, like tar in the Ohio Let the cicadas sing, my life on vinyl Just place my old body at it's mouth I'm through drowning in a drought Pray my body never floats south ITSD: Think about the raccoon the roadkill used to be 
He or she just like me wanted to eat and sleep
 Have playful dreams
 Wrestle with kids and siblings Explore find a place to call home at least But now it’s just meat Some might say c’est la vie If that’s what we mean say it again
 C’est la vie
 C’est la vie C’est la vie