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Turmoil

from Indoctrination

June 4th, 2025
12 tracks
76:02
Indoctrination
Indoctrination
Turmoil
0:00
7:16
Turmoil
Carmine Rebellion
I feel disquiet Be still, my racing mind I need to rest Must put this distress behind I have to keep this hidden They can never see They told me that it's forbidden What is wrong with me? My secret past nobody would understand last? But can this last? How long can I hide? So much is lost that I'd dearly love to find Be still, my troubled mind How can it be? Why do I feel this way? What's happening to me? Can my own feelings betray? Bury them deep inside I can never show But can I really hide My truth; my soul? My secret past nobody would understand last? But can this last? How long can I hide? So much is lost that I'd dearly love to find Be still, my troubled mind Who is she? The woman I once was Can I find my way back Can I heal my heart? They tell me that this is wrong But it's who I am I need to hide my sin I'm not sure I can My secret past nobody would understand But can this last? How long can I hide? So much is lost that I'd dearly love to find Be still, my troubled mind
4:45

Indoctrination is a speculative fiction concept album. It tells a story about a woman who wakes up with amnesia. She is indoctrinated into a seemingly friendly cult, but things take a sinister turn. Gradually, it becomes clear that she is being subjected to a weird form of conversion therapy. (Content warning - look after yourself!)

This felt like a very important project to me. I've thankfully never experienced conversion therapy myself, but I find the concept horrifying. It wasn't a subject I intentionally set out to tackle. I was working on a story idea - as an exercise - about a woman with amnesia being indoctrinated into a cult. Her lesbian awakening was originally a way of creating some friction between her and the cult, because the character needed motivation to leave. But as soon as I considered it, I realised that she had effectively experienced a sort of conversion therapy. That gave the idea a new importance to me, and I felt like I should pursue it. I re-worked the plot a bit more to make the conversion therapy aspect a deliberate scheme, rather than an accident, and set to work. I hope I've done the subject justice.

Credits

Music and lyrics by Mara Flint. Performed by Mara Flint.